I want to see!!!

We were driving back to my cousins’ house in the boonies, outside of San Antonio.  There were no streetlights, no houses and it was dark, very dark.  The only light we had was our little headlights.  There were no other cars, trucks, or bikes.  We were alone, out in the middle of nowhere.  And it was very dark.

And then there was a bolt of lightning that flashed just ahead of our car.  It seemed to be right over the road.  It gave just enough light so that we could see about 1,000 feet ahead. Not much, but just enough to see where the road turned a bit.  And then, at the end of that span of road, there would be another flash of light, again, just enough to light up the road ahead of us.  There was no rain.  Just lightning.  And somehow, I felt calmer and safer, just having a glimpse of the road ahead, knowing that the road continued and that eventually we would get home.  There was a comfort in seeing that lightning flash.  It was as if God was saying, “I’m here.  I’ll show you the way. Just follow the light.”

I remember going to camp throughout the years and walking back to my cabin with a flashlight, pointing it straight down at the few feet in front of me, enough light to see any large tree roots, or dips in the path.  I would try to point it out in front of me, but then I would lose sight of the path and start to stumble.  So, I kept it focused on the path.  I knew that if I kept it focused there that eventually I would get to my cabin and be safe.

God says in His Word that His Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. The only time we need a lamp or light is when it’s dark out – right?  I would look pretty ridiculous carrying a flashlight in full sunshine.  So,  when life is dark, the path unclear, the end of the road hidden by the lack of light, where do we turn to make sure we are on the path?

In my journey as an unmarried Christian woman, so many times I wanted to see the end of the road.  I wanted to be able to see the cabin at the end of the path.  I didn’t want to have to take it step by step, relying on the light to get me there.  I wanted to see!!  Now!!! I wanted and still want to see what’s beyond the end of the light beam.  But, God in his amazing grace, wisdom, and love only lets me see the next few steps.

I truly believe that after all that I have gone through, I may have chosen to either turn back if I saw the whole road ahead, or maybe just sit down in the middle of the road and not go on.  Or maybe I would have chosen to take another road altogether to avoid the pain ahead.  All I know is that I’m thankful for the lightning that only lights up the road just ahead.  I’m thankful that I have the light of God’s Word and His love to guide me step by step.  Truly, it’s all I can handle.

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